A while ago I had a strange occurrence. I was skating a pool when all of a sudden an Armenian and an Australian starting bartering/arguing about trading goats and sheep. Words of satanic ritual began to be uttered by these two so I decided to get out of there, but not before grabbing this board that one of them had set down. Well that turned out to be a great idea and by the way I didn’t steal the board because I did whisper “I taking this board thank you” as I ran, so get off my back. Well when I reached my car, I don’t know why I was being chased by these two from the pool, I realized that this deck was made by Black Label Skateboards. Anyway, as I calmly burned rubber to get out of there I heard one of them say in Armenian “YOUSTOLEMYBOARD” I don’t understand this language so I waived and drove off. This board had a great shape, dimensions, and was extremely shrederistic. The dimensions for this board are 32″ long, 8.75″ wide, with a 14.25″ wheelbase. Some might think that a 14.25″ wheelbase is small but if your not the biggest dude (not a fat ass) and skate pools this kind of wheelbase reacts great. The concave on this deck I would call medium, whatever that means and the wood is super strong. If you need a bigger wheelbase, Black Label has all different sizes to make everyone happy and make popsicle-only makers sad and envious. To the companies that only make popsicles, there are many things that you can do to improve your life and company. I have listed the steps that you need to take below.

• Start doing wrist exercises to strengthen that limp wrist.
• When you go to the liquor store resist the urge to go straight (no pun intended) to the Smirnoff ice and go over to the beer section. (This set is hard for some but you can do it.)
• Go buy a Black Label Skateboards square tail board and experience the reasons for yourself what square tails have to offer.
• You will immediately come to the conclusion that you company needs to make a square tail.
• Come to grips with the reality that you, as well as many others over the years, have copied Black Label (not that they originated the square tail, you just copied their shape exactly).
• Last, if you haven’t heard of Black Label Skateboards feel free to go directly to your nearest I Quit Skateboarding Stations. Once you turn in all of you skateboard related goods they will give you a scooter so you can get your scoot on.

In conclusion, take your hard earned cash to your local board shop and throw it down for a Black Label deck. Remember, if the people at the shop don’t skate then it’s not a skateboard shop. Also, when having run ins with Armenians and Australians run, don’t look back they may be conducting satanic rituals and sacrificing goats. BEWARE.

– Baron Von Shredington